Wednesday 18 July 2012

Demon Lodgers - Moleskine Art

This is rather apt for today! My demons seem to be extra active recently. I hate days like these where I am crippled with self doubt and loathing. The negative voice is whispering extra loud, and I am too weak to ignore it. What do other people do in times like these? When the air feels too heavy for me to hold up my head and everything I touch turns to shit. Do I really want to share my failings with all and sundry, sundry maybe but all?

2 comments:

  1. Maybe this will seem too simple, but usually when I am in such a state it's because I haven't been taking care of myself. I'm not getting enough sleep, I've eaten too little or too much, I haven't showered, or I've been contemplating what others think too much. Or, under under the surface there is something I am in denial about (feelings of fear, anger, sadness). When I'm having one of those days, I try to catch myself before I go off the deep end with self hate and remind myself that I just need to get some sleep or whatever it is I'm needing. Or express whatever it is I've been bottling up.

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    Replies
    1. I think you are right about the denial! At my core there are things I haven't begun to deal with, and I can't while it concerns people who are still alive and walking around. My work has been a form of extended therapy, and I have worked through a lot. But when I'm having difficulty getting something out it is akin to a mental constipation that is really destructive, I feel hopeless and empty. I am being extra hard to live with at the moment. Thanks though for your comments, they have given me something to think about.

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