The older I get, the smaller my life gets! I remember being four and sitting at the bottom of my grandmother's garden and thinking if I sat still enough, I'd catch sight of some elves/fairies/goblins going about their business. I'd follow ant trails in the hope of being led their homes where I was convinced I'd find miniature bunk beds, tiny sofas, and antified stereo systems. Once, I got stuck atop a pile of rocks where builders where adding a new garage. Too scared to climb down, I was relieved to see our 'mother' cat that had recently given birth to a litter of kittens in our garden. I politely asked her in plain English to either help me down or call my mum to do so. You can't imagine how deeply hurt I was to see 'Mother' cat stick her nose up in the air and walk away as if she hadn't heard a thing! Anyway, life slowly chipped away my convictions and it slowly dawned on me that life is much more linear than Fairy Tales had led me to believe. As I digested my limitations I turned more and more to art in order to take flight and indulge my fancies.
I love your vivid writing!
ReplyDeleteI was struck by your comment Bunny because when I was about 7 or 8 I heard,from somewhere,that if you made a circle with stones or pebbles & waited at midnight,fairies would come out & dance around the circle.So one summer night I made a circle of pebbles,went upstairs to my room,opened my window & waited...which wasn't easy for a child who was in bed for around 8pm.I managed to stay awake...& as the clock got closer to midnight,I became more & more overcome with excited anticipation.The clock got to midnight & I braced myself for the unfolding magic;I thought I saw shapes developing in the dark & strained my eyes to see....but it was just my eyes playing tricks...12:05am came,then 12:10am,12:15am..but no fairies ever appeared.I was overcome with disappointed, but that event had had a big effect on me.Maybe it was at that point that I began to question things more....I suppose it was a process of 'growing up' & maybe it's part of the reason why I'm an Atheist today,who knows.I love that piece of work & your comments...as usual,both are funny,evocative & slightly disconcerting in equal measure...thanks :) David (Mellish_F46)
ReplyDeleteI think every one of us with any level of self knowledge or introspection has had one of these moments. A moment where you suddenly realise that there are no infinite possibilities, that the world isn't as big or mysterious as we'd dreamed. Growing up involves a series of losses that slowly separate us into individual beings. I love it when people share these precious moments so thanks David for your story.
ReplyDeleteThanks Bunny & apologies for the typos...it's funny how you only notice them after you've posted! I watched a youtube video last night on Max Ernst working,I posted it on twitter.He done a series of rubbings of a wooden floor,then created different creatures & a whole world out of them..I thought it was brilliant.All the best :)
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