At parties I am one of those people bracing a wall: holding a drink as if my life depended on it. With a rictus grin plastered across my chops trying to look as if I'm having the time of my life. I always go with the aim of having fun but it rarely turns out that way. The other guests are mainly artists, with a smattering of fairly/ very well known ones which have a crowd 6 foot deep around them trying to initiate conversation, or invite them to a private view or generally brown nose. Others seem to know everyone and seem very comfortable in their own skin, the rest like me sit rigidly hoping no one approaches them at the same time fearing no one will come up and talk. Even at my own private views I try to blend into the walls/ carpet/ furniture. Why am I so darn anti social? I think of myself as a people person with something to offer, why am I so crap at getting that across. I want to be one of the shameless show offs hogging all the oxygen just for once!